Life Without You
by 1065482801109701
Summary: Formerly Cry it Up. After Rocky leaves to pursue her modelling career, she leaves a trail of destructive thoughts in Cece's mind, leading to her dark obsession. Can a certain brown-eyed boy help her and just maybe find a way to save her from herself? Rated T for Self-destructive behavior, AU. Tyce
1. Ice Cream

**You guys have been asking for it, so here it is, Cry it Up, REWRITTEN! **

**~0o0o0o0~**

Cece watched the Limo drag away, its tires crunching on the gravel. The sound was almost reminiscent to how she felt, crushed, run down and run over. Regret pumped in her blood, coursed through her veins. Hadn't she been the one that made, no, pushed Rocky to leave, feigning disinterest?

All at once, it struck her with the force of a whip. All she'd done. With that, he knees gave out, and she sank to the ground, letting her emotions pool out of her eyes. She felt powerless now as the tears streaked down her face. Rocky hated her. After all she'd done, she just knew that Rocky blamed her.

A hand gripped her shoulder, warm and comforting. Normally, she would've hated being seen in this state. Puffy eyed with mascara staining her face, she was a hot-mess. Finding her dignity, she looked up at the mystery hand," Thanks Ty."

Offering his other hand, he pulled her into a hug, letting her cry. After the tears had momentarily drained, he lead her upstairs, leaving her with a reassuring squeeze. Cece stood there and accepted it all willingly, and tried to stay strong for Rocky. As soon as she hit the bed-room though, her heavy sense of reality returned, bringing the sadness along with it, and with that, bringing back the bitter tears.

**~0o0o0o0~**

A nostalgic alarm woke him up for school. Another school day, the same old routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to school, go home, homework, eat, sleep. He almost laughed at how dreary it all was. That's how it always was with Rocky gone, color draining from his life at an alarming rate.

Refusing to touch on the subject of his sister, he started his routine. The day was slowly unfolding into what he expected, until he left the apartment building and saw Cece. The only reason it was such a big deal to him was because of the fact that Cece hadn't been to school for days.

She was leaning against the wall, her red hair half hidden by a beanie. To say she looked normal was an understatement. She oozed normality as if it were second nature in all her mannerisms, and the way she looked. "Ah, Ty, just the person I was looking for!" He shot her a questioning look only to be returned with an eyeroll.

"You're mom hasn't raved on about it? 'Suspected murderer loose?' She wants me to go to the subway with you, you know, to be safe," Ty let out an ah before setting out. Surprisingly, it was easy to talk to her. Maybe she had gotten over Rocky. Ty didn't know, and frankly, didn't want to find out, and focused on mundane topics.

They would have stayed in their state of sleepy silence if Cece hadn't made an effort to reach up and grab an overhead rung. The train had been crowded, bodies pushed together, the collective murmur sounding like bugs fluttering their wings compulsively.  
>As always, seats had been taken by old ladies and pregnant women. They had barely managed to squeeze in as it was. They neared the rungs and Ty lazily reached his hand up and grabbed one easily. Cece, being the stubborn fireball he knew her to be, took that as a challenge and tried to reach the other one.<p>

Both of them laughed at her attempts, and it was only when she was fully on her tippy toes that he saw them. The laughter died out of him instantly as he stared at this little gashes that seemed to cover her wrist. They were like tiny bar codes, identifying her. The worst was that in his eyes, they pulsed red disgustingly, showing depression and instability.

"Ty," he looked at her with her innocent eyes and her seemingly happy smile," are you okay?" Ty nodded in response and she spent the rest of the time chattering eagerly about little random things. All he could picture were the scars that dotted her wrists.

When they finally approached the school, he pulled her into an alley. "What the hell Ty?" She demanded only to cut herself off as she looked at the menacing look in his eyes. Cece felt fear slowly seize her heart. Not only did his eyes look like Rocky's, tugging involuntarily at her heartstrings, there was the fact that she felt attracted to him.

"Why don't you explain this first," his voice was full of anger as she grabbed her wrist and pushed the long sleeve down to her elbow. That pushed over the edge, and she began pounding her fists on his chest, sobbing. "You. Don't. Understand!" She screamed between punches.

Once the punching ceased, he replied," And you don't think I feel that? I miss Rocky every day," Cece scoffed before crying out," Not like I do!" He stared at her maliciously, almost offended by the fact that she thought that their relationship was more important than his, and spat," At least I don't cry in my bedroom and cut myself." He muttered the next part in an icy cold whisper," It's disgusting and disgraceful what you've become. What would Rocky think of you?"

With that, he walked away, guilt rising within him. Maybe he had just over-reacted. Of course, having seen what cutting does to people before all this, he pardoned himself. Blocking out all the sounds of sadness that seemed to linger in the air, he walked into school, ready for a new school day.

~0o0o0o0~  
>Cece's POV<p>

"Rocky?" Her voice croaked in the quiet of her room, mimicking a sour chord on the piano. Hopes building, stomach churning, Cece would not cry. Her eyes squeezed shut as she waited desperately. The sounds of her breathing filled the room as if a toddler were now clumsily tinkling the ivories.

"Sorry, Raquel is not here, this is her assistant, is there anything I can do for you?" His voice, although bland and uninterested, oozed of superiority, something that always set Cece on high guard. Did he know? Was he judging her?

Her lips moved to formulate a response but her throat seized, tears threatening to spill over once again. "Tell her that Cece says hi," it was the only thing that popped in her head. Impersonal, and selfish. He gave her a cookie cutter reply, a sneer obvious in his tone, and hung up abruptly.

A strong impulse to fling the phone at the wall almost took over her, as if watching the phone fall to pieces would magically mend her heart. Heat pressed in on her like a thick tongue and she groaned as she flung the blankets off. She stretched out her limbs, her feet hanging off her tiny bed and sighed. 

Wounded. That was her world now. she was emotionally bruised and battered. Why couldn't it just stop? Most wounds healed though via medicine. Where was her's? Where was her medicine? It couldn't be the red marks she left on her skin, it had to be something greater.

If only, she thought as the tears arrived once again. If only...

~0o0o0o0~

A knock on the door roused her out of her bittersweet reverie. Half sad that couldn't slip into her perfect dreamworld once again, she sat up. After realizing that it was hopeless trying to clean up the mess in her room, she quietly said," Come in." Whoever was at the door was in for a real shock. Dishes piled high on her desk along with various items of clothing. The curtains were shut blocking out the clawing strands of sunlight.

It only matched how she looked. Her hair hadn't been washed in days, and sat on the top of her head in a sloppy bun. Her t-shirt she wore hung low on her skinny figure, topped off with her shorts. Her numb arms clung to her to the ends of her shorts. The door creaked open gently revealing Ty. Cece's eyes started stinging as the memories of his words re-emerged. They both shifted uncomfortably until Ty said," Look Cece, I'm... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said all those things about you-" Cece sighed.

"But Ty, you were right." Biting her lip, she could taste the metallic blood ooze out of the wound. "I am a disgusting... Disgraceful person. No wonder Rocky left," At the sound of Rocky's name she almost broke down into tears. He walked around the mess and sat on her bed with her procuring a tub of Rocky road ice cream from behind him. "How did you-" He paused as if considering how to tell her without setting her off on a tyrannical rampage. "She told me," Cece nodded and grabbed a spoon and started eating.

Secretly, Cece felt shameful for eating. It repulsed her to see that she was letting herself go but what could she do? It was just all too much, but at least with him there, it seemed to lighten the load for her if only by just a little. "I'm no one without her Ty," the truth came out. It hung on Ty like a yoke that he was now realizing he had held his whole life. "You're just saying that." A lame excuse, but he hoped none the less that it worked.

"Rocky always pushed me to be someone better, someone that could change the world... I just don't… I don't know who I am without her. It's almost like a part of me has been ripped away." She dropped the spoon amid the pile of blankets that lay on her bed. The coldness of the ice cream was constricting her throat and she found it hard to talk. "Ce, you can talk to me, you can always talk to me, remember that, ok?" He closed the tub of ice-cream and leaned over, pressing his lips to her forehead, leaving her utterly baffled.

Her stomach exploded in excitement. No, no, no. She couldn't be with Ty now. His eyes, his devilish smile reminded her of Rocky, and that made her feel sick. An acidic taste tickled her throat and she literally felt herself go pale. The feeling horrified her. "Bye Ty," She managed to say as she walked out of the door. A part of her wanted to tell him that she really appreciated him coming to talk to her. It seemed like just because it had been a few days since Rocky had left the whole world expected her to get over it.

He had to, but to a lesser extent now, and the feeling that he partially accepted her for who she was comforted her. She let out a large yawn and nestled herself back into her blankets and for the first time in a few days, she managed to sleep peacefully, with no fear of waking up in a nightmare.

**~0o0o0o0~**

**First re-written story, aw yeah. **

**This is for TrinityLovesRoshonFreak, love you!**

**Also, expect more of these from me because IT IS OFFICIALLY EASTER BREAK!**

**Eskimo Kisses,**

**z3stygurl97**


	2. Sleepover

**In this chapter there is a Doctor Who scene sort of rewritten, props goes to people who can find it. I dare you to. Tell me in a review, if you can.**

**~0o0o0o0~**

Once Ty had left, the feeling of restriction pressed down on her once more. The room spun around her, a flurry of colors, blending and molding together in harmony. The taste of bile slowly rose in her throat. Breathing through her nose, she tried to wait until the light-headedness had passed. Her body felt numb and uncontrolled, as if it didn't belong to her. At any moment, she knew she might pass out from everything and tried to stall it.

Think, she told herself, think. Problem was, the only thing that seemed like it could phase everything out was the one thing she was trying to quell, the one thing she never wanted to do again. Attraction. That's what she felt for Ty. She didn't believe in love at first sight, but lust was completely plausible in her mind's view. She lusted for Ty. Why did that statement seem so incredibly wrong? Really, there was no problem with him. In fact, he was adorable, helping her when she was completely torn. But Rocky would never approve.

Why was Rocky such a big part of her self-conscious? It seemed whatever she did had to be approved by Rocky first. A good mentality in her mind, but limited. For the meantime, she knew that she couldn't have much to do with the Blue family.

When the feeling of queasiness failed to pass after ten minutes, she made the grave decision and walked into her bathroom, holding herself tall, hoping that she wouldn't be defeated. Opening the cupboards above her sink, she found exactly what she was looking for. It was nestled in between various different bottles and vials of makeup, as if it were hiding from her, knowing what she was going to do next.

Pink, in its packaging and fresh. Most importantly, it imposed the least risks. She ripped it out greedily, excited to see it like it were an old friend. Hesitation bombarded her head as she pressed it to her skin. All she needed to do was pull. It didn't even have to be that much.

Pull, pain, relief, repeat. And she did just that, wincing after each nick. The cuts blinked red as if it were signaling something. She could almost hear Rocky chiding her. After what seemed like hours of standing there in the bathroom feeling seemingly stripped, she left, leaving the blade and all her temporary woes behind.

**~0o0o0o0~**

Meanwhile, Ty was locking the apartment with his keys that his mother had finally given him when he bumped into Mrs. Jones. To him, it was odd considering the way to exit the building was downstairs and she lived below them. Unless she wanted to talk to his mom of course, that would be fine. The look on her face betrayed this thought and he groaned inwardly, waiting for a lecture or an errand.

"Hey Ty, how are you doing?" He shrugged nonchalantly and leaned on the door, expecting the worst. Of course, it could be about Cece. If it were, in that case, Ty would be listening intently. "Good, um, is your mom home?" His hopes died and he explained how she had been gone for the whole day, looking for some part-time work, mostly due to the fact that she wanted new shoes.

"While I'm here, would you like to come to movie night tonight at our house? Deuce says he's coming, and I invited those foreign friends of yours, Gretta and Tammy?" He laughed.

"Gunther and Ty." She nodded, muttering a right before he said he would go. They said their formalities and she left, leaving him lingering in the hall, wanting to avoid an awkward conversation.

He really only agreed because of the fact that he knew that she would be swallowed by the crowd if he didn't. They would pepper her with questions, or just talk to their hearts content, pushing her over the edge before she finally snapped.

He knew way too much about her.

For a moment he pondered this. He had known her ever since he was four and she was two. He had a fascination with her hair because of its coppery color and always braided it. How girly he had been, and how embarrassing that memory had been. The very thought of the memory triggered the blood to rush up to his cheeks.

He prodded them when he felt this, as if expecting to feel the burn. Only Cece possessed the power to render him in this state of girlish blushing, and he resented that. Finally walking down the stairs, he realized that every step he took he was closer to the mini-party and closer to Cece, and that thought made him blush harder than he ever had before.

**~0o0o0o0~  
><strong>  
>When the time of the party finally came, he found himself exuding confidence. This definitely helped hide the nervousness that he felt building up inside his chest. Thankfully, he knew that the pressure was fictitious and wouldn't explode. At least, he hoped.<p>

Deterring his thoughts about her, hoping to avoid coloring his skin with crimson he walked across the empty living room, soulless without his mother and Rocky. He took the fire escape, knowing that the sense of familiarity would cheer her up. The bitter cold dug into his skin, and he shivered, walking down at a faster pace to embrace the warmth. 

"Hey hey," he said into the quiet. The Glitter twins, Deuce, and Cece sat comfortably in the living room already watching a movie, obviously a thriller. One of them shushed him for his rude actions and he uncomfortably sat down next to Cece.

She looked cleaned up, probably having being forced by her mom. Her hair fells in their normal curls down her back and she looked free of the gauntness that haunted her face earlier. A bowl of popcorn sat in her lap as she eagerly ate of it, the rising tension in the movie matching how much she was actually eating. 

He was bored. He'd seen the movie before, knew how it ended and wanted to leave it at that. So he focused on her. And secretly, she focused on him too. Out of the corner of her eye she could see him, studying her meticulously, making her ears flush. Very romantic, she thought.

After two more big bowls of popcorn, and a few more movies, it looked like everyone was ready to pass out from fatigue. Sleepy smiles were seen on all of their faces. "Bye!" The twins called simultaneously, walking are in arm through the door. Deuce followed soon leaving both alone in the living room. "Ty… can I talk to you?" He grunted a reply and she led him into her room.

It had been cleaned since he had left. Dishes no longer hoarded corners and clothes no longer littered the floor. Her bed was undisturbed, flowery and innocent looking. She only turned on one light that left an ominous glow throughout the room.

He looked even more mysterious in the low light and Cece felt suddenly aware of how close they were. His breath tickled her neck and she scooted over. "What do you want to talk about?" His husky voice echoed in the silence. She hadn't thought of what she was actually going to say.

"I… I did it again today Ty…" She upturned her arms so that he could see and she turned away, dreading his reaction. He merely traced the wounds with his fingers, fascinated with them (in the most normal way possible). At the pain she winced slightly. They were still raw, but ultimately they were hide able. 

"Cece," he said in a low whisper, no menacing or angry, but soft," you have to stop doing this." He was right and she knew it, but she knew that whatever she did, she would always look for her comfort in the pain that it provided. That was, unless she could find something better than that. Ty, she looked up at him and suddenly realized he had the potential to be better than any medicine. You're using him, she told herself, but looking at his meager smile and the caring in his eyes, she was locked under his spell.

"I've been… thinking of what, of who I want…" He nodded, looking at her right in the eyes, scared of what she was going to tell him. "Huh?" He asked. "In a word, in one very simple word you can understand." She was tired of the pain, tired of the crying. A part of her yearned for something better, something more satisfying, and Ty was that person. She leaned, her right hand cupping his cheek, aiming for his lips when he moved away from her and stood upright.

"What do you think you're doing?" His hands were in front of him as he backed up against the nearest wall.

"But you're, you're Cece!" Her movements seemed to be powered by all her feelings for him. She got up slinkily and walked over to him, linking her hands in his. "Yes I am Ty," but he pushed her away once more. Determination coursed through her veins. She was not going to let him win this one.

"Your mom, she would kill me if she saw me kissing you in your room in the morning!" He did have a point. With the commotion that they were making, she could easily walk in at any second and shoot him.

"Well, the morning's a long time away, isn't it?" After considering, she resumed, a hungry look still looming in her eyes, masking the real pain that she was ever so desperately trying to heal. Her hands pulled on his shoulders, desperately trying to kiss him, wanting to be satiated, wanting to taste him.

"Cece, I'm eighteen, you know what that means?" He grabbed her forearms and stared her in the eyes, to which she pouted, reminiscing a small child who was on the verge of throwing a fit.

"It's been a while?" She asked innocently, biting down on her lower lip, relishing his deepening blush.

"This could never work!" He finally exclaimed, exasperated. It was a low blow in general considering he had just plainly rejected her, trying to be as obvious as possible.

"Aw, Ty I'm flattered but I wasn't thinking of something so... long term," and she finally pushed herself on him, kissing him violently. As much as Ty wanted to push her away and reason with her once again, he was intoxicated.

His hands hovered over her shoulders. Sure, he had been kissed before, mostly at parties, but never by… Cece. Ice, flames, and chocolate. That was what her kissed tasted like. But it was oh-so-wrong. Standing here, kissing him, was a girl who was broken, terrified, and emptied. He was only feeding the flames by giving in.

Two things. He could pull away and reason with her once more, or he could give in and kiss her to his heart's content. But Cece seemed to decide for him and tugged on his collar, slightly tripping. They both landed on the floor, him on top of her.

"Kiss me," she purred into his ear, and he only hesitated for a minute before placing a kiss on her lips, wanting it to endure.

"Wha-? MO-!" Flynn appeared at the doorway, his face red with anger, staring at the two. Ty bolted and clamped his mouth shut. It was worse enough to have been caught in a such a compromising position by a ten year old, but the fact that his mom could come through the door at any second… 

"Flynn it's not what it looked like," Anger pulsed in waves towards Ty, obviously blaming him for the whole situation. Sighing, he led Flynn to sit down, knowing that this would be a long, long night of explaining.

**~0o0o0o0~**

**So what did you guys think? Rewritten Number two, twice in a day, I feel so proud of myself, this is going good. By this time next week I might have all of Cry It Up finished. Sorry if you don't like Cece in the end but I wanted to have a sort of plot twist thing**

**Again, shoutout to all the reviewers because you guys make me happy, and a happy writer is a good writer**

**Remember to read and review**

**Eskimo Kisses,**

**Kels (a.k.a z3stygurl97) **


	3. Prayers

**So sorry about not updating in a long time but I didn't have the intellectual endurance to do nanowrimo this year with the fact that I'M FRIKKEN MOVING COUNTRIES but meh, I guess, what can you do?**

**~0o0o0o0~**

_"Mo-" I clamped his mouth shut to stop the strangled cry and closed the door._

_Anger pulsed in waves towards me._

_I sighed, I had a lot of explaining to do._

_~0o0o0o0~_

_-Ty POV-_

"What are you doing in here, with my sister?" He practically screamed when I let him speak.

"Flynn, it's not what it looks like." I said gently, trying to calm him down. It wasn't working. Flynn, well, he was going psycho.

"What do you think I am, two? I know that people only sleep in the same bed if they're parents or…" He looked at me with a judgmental look and I shriveled.

Damn, the kid was good.

"W-what? You think I have a thing? For Cece? Naw, little dude, she's… not my type."

"So you're saying that my sister isn't good enough for you?" He asked now getting angry yet again.

"What? No, it's not that, I mean she is hot-"

"So now my sister is just someone you can use?" He asked.

I sighed and took Flynn by the shoulders.

He was smart for his age, which made this excruciating.

"Flynn, what I'm trying to say is that no, I don't like your sister and it's not because I don't think she's awesome, it's just she's like a little sister to me, just like you're a little brother to me."

Flynn didn't smile, but he did manage to say," Just remember I know karate, and some other dangerous words to match that."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Now, I suggest you leave before mom finds you here and shoots you, goodbye." I was promptly ushered out of the room and left on the fire escape to think.

Had I really meant what I said in there? I mean, Cece is like a little sister to me, but… I don't know, maybe I think of her as more now that Rocky's out of the picture? I don't know… Damn hormones…

~0o0o0o0~

-Cece POV-

I woke up to Flynn and Ty talking near my door. My eyelids still felt heavy and the urge to sleep called me via my comforter and I almost did until they started talking about me.

I feigned sleep and listened in letting myself listen to them.

"W-what? You think I have a thing? For Cece? Naw, little dude, she's… not my type." A little, well, a huge part of me felt like it had just died. Maybe I'm too fat to be with him…

"So you're saying that my sister isn't good enough for you?" Atta boy! I have to buy him something today…

"What? No, it's not that, I mean she is hot-" Oh, my, god, did he just say I was hot? That part of me that just died should be considered alive again. Hallelujah!

"So now my sister is just someone you can use?" Aw Flynn, why do you have to ruin every perfect moment?

I heard Ty sigh heavily and risked opening my eyes a bit to see him holding my brother on the shoulders.

"Flynn, what I'm trying to say is that no, I don't like your sister and it's not because I don't think she's awesome, it's just she's like a little sister to me, just like you're a little brother to me." And that part of me that just was resurrected? Yup, it's dead again…

"Just remember I know karate, and some other dangerous words to match that."

I didn't laugh.

"Now, I suggest you leave before mom finds you here and shoots you, goodbye." And like that Flynn ushered Ty out of my room onto our fire escape and once again, I was alone.

"Ungh," I muttered into a pillow," Why is life so hard?"

Suddenly I realized that the disgusting feeling I got around him disappeared and that it was replaced by tingles.

Now this was bad.

~0o0o0o0~

-Ty POV-

Over time, I saw Cece start to get better, but still she seemed sad. If only I could get the plan to work.

Once, I walked into her room and saw her with a cat.

Apparently he's named Zazzles because he's zazzy?

Sometimes I don't know what goes through her mind.

But she had her off days.

One day I came in and she was curled up under the covers dead asleep and I could swear I saw a drop of blood on the ground, and I was afraid she was going to have another serious episode.

One day, though, I walked into her room and I couldn't find her, which was incredibly strange. But what was stranger was that there was a book on her bed about prayer.

Last time I remembered, Cece didn't even go to church, much less pray.

I leafed through the book anyway, it just seemed like any book, until I got to her bookmarks.

On pages I found little bookmarks for different subjects: Loneliness, sadness, cutting.

I put the book down after that and never touched it again. It pained me to read it.

Afterwards, I couldn't look at Cece without thinking,' Are you just pretending?'

I think she even tried to forget about the whole situation, and was tricking herself.

"Cece?" I asked one day.

We had just finished playing scrabble, which she was surprisingly good at, though I still think it was because she cheated with all her strange words like absorptiometry and xenophobia but whatever.

"Yeah?"

"Do you believe in God?" She turned away and looked around her room: diversion.

"Well, I don't know, I mean, I don't, like, consider myself a Christian or anything?"

"So what's the prayer book about?"

I must have pushed a button or something because she snapped her attention back to me.

It must have been something about her look because I blurted out," It's ok that you're lonely."

She looked angrier.

"Get. Out." She seethed.

"Cece-"

"Get out of my face!"

And I left…

~0o0o0o0~

**Hey guys so this was a little piece I made at 2:47 because I accidentally had coffee, actually, two cups and now I cannot sleep *twitches***

**If any of you people watch Big Bang Theory you'll get the cat joke and as for the end I know it may seem random but I'll explain it, just be patient…**

**As always,**

**Eskimo Kisses,**

**z3stygurl97**

**P.S I AM SO FRIKKEN TIRED WHOO! (^^=O) (LOL Face)**


	4. AN

**To people who read Cry it Up, Mission Mistletoe, Shakin Up Relationships and 7 Minutes in Heaven, I have good news for you. I am rewriting the whole series. **

**Please be aware that this may take time but I will do my best seeing as easter holiday is coming up**

**Eskimo Kisses,**

**z3stygurl97**


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